This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.
CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:
- do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
- go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
- if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
- look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
- the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
- works every time
"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING
I once saw a little girl completely wipe out on her scooter. She stood up, walked a few feet before her mum saw and went ‘OH MY GOD’
cue little girl bursting into tears.
M and K…redux
MEMO: The space bar is important.
also punctuation placement
he just became like 50% carrot
A woman is only vulnerable when her nail polish is drying, and even then she can still pull a trigger.
Hawaii once had a rat problem. Then, somebody hit upon a brilliant solution. Import mongooses from India. Mongooses would kill the rats. It worked. Mongooses did kill the rats. Mongooses also killed chickens, young pigs, birds, cats, dogs, and small children. There have been reports of mongooses attacking motorbikes, power lawn mowers, golf carts, and James Michener. In Hawaii now, there are as many mongooses as there once were rats. Hawaii had traded its rat problem for a mongoose problem. Hawaii was determined nothing like that would ever happen again…Society had a crime problem. It hired cops to attack crime. Now society has a cop problem.
Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker (1980)
This felt relevant
A completely incompetent police force in action. Unrest in Ferguson, Part 3
The mind is a terrible thing to waste. I show love cause it’s a terrible thing to hate.
90-year-old Holocaust survivor Hedy Epstein was arrested in St. Louis (Near Ferguson) for speaking out against police brutality
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